Saga of the Staff – Episode 7
four looked at each other, completely dumbfounded.
can’t make us do this!!! I won’t choose!” Faz shouted.
neither!” Sam and Mikey both said in unison.
I guess I wouldn’t mind if Mikey left the group…” Andy said.
other three stared at him, especially Mikey, who looked a bit upset.
Andy looked at them, puzzled.
since you refuse to choose who it is you want to go, and who you want to
join you, I will have to make the choice for you!!!” The deep voice
said. “Get ready to be transported to your next adventure!!!”
Why are we here??? Why were we sucked into this place???” Sam asked…
however, it was too late. Bright light surrounded him… and then…
looked around him. He seemed to be in a game still… but he wasn’t sure
which one. The bright colours… they reminded him of Phantasy Star
We’re in the Principal’s Office!” Andy exclaimed.
spun round quickly to see Andy stood there in the same attire he had been
in the first time they had been in PSO. However, he noticed two other
figures stood behind Andy. One seemed to be about Andy’s height. She was
wearing orange PVC… she had pink hair…
my god!!! Ulala is with us!!!” Faz let out a cry of excitement.
turned to see Ulala, but there was a much taller figure behind her. It
stood at a height of around 8 foot… it was ugly and mutated… it had a
long black trench coat and a rocket launcher on its shoulder…
We have the Nemesis here too!!!” Andy yelled.
my god!” Faz said.
Roared the Nemesis.
it just stood there… it didn’t seem to want to hurt them.
think it likes us!” Faz said.
Ulala piped up…
evening space cats, this is Ulala coming atcha’ from the Principal’s
Office! Tonight I’m investigating into why Farooq Asif and Andrew
Dickinson are stuck in this world of games!” She said.
she strolled off towards the principal behind her, doing that funky
walk… in time to music that neither Faz nor Andy could hear!
god… I’m stuck with three morons!” Faz sighed.
looked puzzled, as he counted only two other people besides himself and
pair and Nemesis walked over to where Ulala had gone. She was now stood by
the principal, and dancing… for no apparent reason.
Welcome! I take it you are here to find out your purpose?” The principal
voice in the blackness said that you would find out your purpose here,
no?” The principal said.
he said that we were to find out our purpose, yes.” Faz said.
I can tell you that purpose.” The principal said.
was a long silence… broken only by the noise of Ulala’s shoes hitting
the floor as she pulled off some superb dance moves.
What is our purpose here then???” Faz asked, angry at the silence.
Well, your purpose here is…” Andy cut off the principal…
I am not a moron!!!”
bright light cleared, and Sam could again see. In front of him stood Mikey…
but he couldn’t see the other two. He looked around, and could make out
2 other figures… but they were only silhouettes in the distance. He
quickly scanned their location to see where they actually were. There
seemed to be no-one else around… the place was basically deserted. There
was the Hard Rock Café right next door to them…
Taxi 2!!!” Mikey shouted.
voice echoed around the empty streets.
but where is everyone???” Sam asked.
looked behind him, seeing Sam. He then scanned the place for Faz and Andy.
did the other two go???” Mikey asked.
have no clue… but there are 2 silhouettes in the distance… the sun is
making it hard for me to see them…” Sam said.
go check it out. It could be them!” Mikey said.
nodded, and the two walked down the street towards the silhouettes… As
they got closer, the outlines of the two figures began to be more
defined… and it became obvious that these two were not Faz and Andy.
think I know who they are…” Sam said.
the one with the big pig tails is obvious…” Mikey said.
think we’ve gained Aika and Ryo… and lost Faz and Andy!” Sam said.
see…” Said the figure that was now distinguishable as Ryo Hazuki.
Mikey cried as he heard the character speak.
and Sam stood in front of the two characters that had now joined their
Ryo… Aika…” Sam said.
you seen any sailors around here?” Ryo asked in reply.
closed his eyes and slapped himself on the forehead. He was stuck with one
of the most excitable, and one of the most boring… and GAY characters
can you say, over excited!?” Mikey said to Sam.
Aika is always like that…” Sam said. The two of them looked at her.
eyes had now changed, so they made her look VERY angry in that Japanese
We made her mad!” Sam said.
what are we going to do now???” Mikey asked, looking around.
have no clue… maybe we
should see where everyone has gone in this game…” Sam suggested.
later, okay?” Ryo said.
god…” Mikey grimaced.
get going…” Sam said, beginning to walk.
as he stepped forward, he heard a noise… like a car screeching round the
think there’s something coming!!!” Mikey said.
think?!” Sam said, sarcastically.
an orange cab flew round the corner and stopped right in front of them. A
black woman with her blonde hair up in two buns was in the drivers seat.
Cinnamon was here to pick them up…
were saying???” Faz turned to the principle again, smiling.
your purpose here is to…” The principal was again cut off…
up… I’m feeling kinda funky!” Ulala exclaimed.
what?” Faz cried, looking weirdly at her…
CRAP!!!” Andy said.
turned around to see Andy staring up at… the Nemesis dancing!!! Ulala
was turned in his direction, and suddenly, the Nemesis blurted out…
down, up, down, chu, chu, chu!!!”
grinned widely. This was quickly followed by him bursting out in a fit of
laughter. He dropped to his knees and held his stomach, as he was laughing
down, BOING, down, BOING, BOING, chu!!!” Ulala
completely screwed up her moves.
continued to laugh as Faz looked on in confusion.
the hell???” Faz said.
managed to stop himself from laughing… just. He turned to Faz.
think that these two are having trouble fitting into another game. Ulala
can’t seem to control the urge to dance… and her overpowering
influence seems to be affecting Nemesis who is not only friendly to us
here, but as confused as we are as to why the hell he is in this
place!!!” Andy said, seeming to sum up the problem quite well.
what do we do about it???” Faz asked.
not sure there is anything we can do… unless we try taking out their
organs through their noses, embalming them then wrapping their corpses in
bandages…” Andy replied.
just looked at Andy in that way that Andy could never get.
did I say now???” Andy asked.
mind…” Faz replied. “Look, it’ll do us no good to stay around
here. We need to move on. If you take these guys back to Pioneer 2, I’ll
talk to the principal and find out our purpose. We’ll meet by the
Storage area in a few minutes, okay?”
thing!” Andy said. He turned and grabbed the other two by their arms. He
walked over to the transporter, but turned to look at Faz one last time.
and Faz…” Andy said.
still a girl!” Andy giggled.
He turned and dragged the other two through the transporter. Faz looked down at the costume he was wearing… the same one as when they had first appeared in Phantasy Star Online.
don’t like this…” Sam said, looking at the streets whizzing past,
devoid of life and activity.
love this! This is so cool!!!” Mikey said, a big smile plastered on his
face as the taxi drove down the street at an unbelievable speed.
looked around at the other two, who just seemed to be sat there, doing
look lifeless…” Sam pointed out to Mikey.
glanced round at them and nodded. They certainly did look lifeless…
Aika’s hair didn’t even move! Suddenly, a noise came from the
constantly closed mouth of Aika.
She seemed to be laughing…
the hell is she laughing at???” Mikey asked.
have no…” Sam couldn’t finish his sentence as the taxi stopped all
of a sudden.
think we get out here…” Sam said.
see…” Ryo replied.
four all got out of the taxi, and then it roared off down the street. They
were left standing on the sidewalk…
what do we do now?” Mikey asked.
have no clue, Mikey. She just dropped us off here, for no reason…” Sam
he said this, he realised that he didn’t actually know where they were.
He looked around, but they didn’t seem to be in Crazy Taxi 2 any longer.
To their left was a steep drop… almost like a street from San
not quite sure which game this is, as there are so many which feature this
city, but I can almost definitely say we are in San Francisco or a place
modelled around it…” Sam said.
looked down at the floor, and noticed to his right that there seemed to be
a funny moving walkway… it was white and very short with arrows on it
my god! It’s Sonic Adventure 2!!! We’ve been brought to Sonic
Adventure 2!!!!” Mikey cried.
good!” Ryo said.
Give me strength!!!” Aika yelled out of the blue.
I don’t like this!” Mikey said.
like before, the noise of a vehicle approaching could be heard. However,
this time it sounded a whole lot bigger!
no!!! The truck! Quick, lets go!!!” Sam cried, as the Truck could be
seen coming from their right!
four of them turned, and began to run as fast as they could down the hill,
but Mikey ran up to the moving walkway… and he was sent flying down the
hill at an incredible speed…
Mikey cried as he whooshed past the others.
purpose here is simple…” The principal said.
What is it then???” Faz asked, becoming a bit impatient now.
purpose here is to…” The principal paused.
What is it? For gods sake just tell me!!!” Faz cried.
must collect…” Again, he paused.
Faz got so angry, that he leant over and slapped the principal round the
What was that for?” The principal asked.
but I just want you to tell me what I have to collect!!!” Faz said.
if you’re going to treat me like that, you can get stuffed!” The
principal said, holding his cheek where Faz had slapped him pretty hard!
no! I’m sorry Mr. Principal! I didn’t mean to! I swear! I’m just
desperate to know what we are here for!!! PLEEEEAAAASE tell me!!!
Please!?” Faz pleaded.
principle stood for a few seconds, silent. Faz waited…
The principal said. “The reason you have been brought here is to collect
the hundred tokens of SEGA…” The principal said.
just stood there.
what? What are those for???” Faz said after a small silence.
since the time of the Mega Drive, SEGA have been here for the gamers of
this world. They have released consoles and brought joy to the lives of
millions with their wondrous games. People were living in fairy tales!
However, as with all fairy tales, there has to be a villain. In this case,
SEGA met its foe in the form of Sony. This giant electronics company
decided it wanted to make some money from the market that SEGA and its
brother Nintendo were the kings of. The people flocked to Sony’s
console, and left SEGA and Nintendo with only a few dedicated fans. It
wasn’t until the dawn of the Dreamcast that we game folk were able to
communicate with each other and find out what had happened to our home and
the homes of our ancestors through the miracle of the internet. Our home
has been dying for a while now, and it seems that the only way to save it
is to collect these one hundred tokens. They were scattered throughout
Dreamcast games using the Internet by an unknown man who wanted to try and
save our home from the threat of Sony’s new console.” Said the
again, just stood there. He understood what the man had just said, but it
seemed just a little too far fetched…
about the games SEGA are making for other consoles?” Asked Faz.
home will be on their respective consoles… however, it will not be a
true home. But we are Dreamcast games. Okay, we’re not all exclusive
anymore, but we are still on the Dreamcast… and we need to keep our home
alive!” Replied the principal.
consoles die eventually though! You
need to give way to the next in line!” Faz said.
are right. However, in this case, there is no ‘next in line’. The
Dreamcast is the last SEGA console… and even if the rumours of a new
console in 2004 are true, that is still a long way off. We need a life
here till then… and beyond!”
thought this over. Their purpose here was to find these tokens… but what
would happen when they were all found?
happens when we have found all the tokens then?” Faz asked.
have no clue. However, rumour tells us that once they are found, the
finders will be transported to a place unknown… and face a final
challenge which will keep the Dreamcast alive if it is won!” The
principle replied. “Now, I would go and find your friends… and not
just the ones down on Pioneer 2. The others need to know aswell…”
get outta here!” Aika cried as she ran down the hill just behind Ryo and
was still far in front, but he was slowing down now. The truck was gaining
on the three in the back, and the only way they could get out of its way
would be to hit a speed-up like Mikey had done.
If there is a speed-up coming up, tell us which side to run on so we’ll
hit it!!!” Sam yelled to Mikey.
Mikey shouted back.
looked out for where the next one would be… and spotted one coming up on
then ran over it, speeding further down, towards a giant archway that was
sure to stop the truck.
and the other two moved over to the right hand side in time to go over the
speed-up. They then flew through the archway that was coming up, and
stopped near Mikey. They looked behind them to witness the truck crashing
into the archway.
god for that!” Sam said, wiping sweat from his brow…
IT SEEMS THE STAFF FINALLY HAVE A PURPOSE IN THIS PLACE… A CRAP ONE,
YES… BUT ITS STILL A PURPOSE!
WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT IF THIS UNKNOWN GUY WANTED TO SAVE SEGA, HE WOULD
HAVE FOUND AN EASIER AND MORE SANE WAY TO DO IT!!!
ENOUGH OF ME, TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO OUR HEROES!!!
ULALA AND NEMESIS STOP THEIR DANCING?
AIKA AND RYO NOT MAKE DUMB-ASS COMMENTS??
ANDY EVER ‘GET’ SOMETHING RIGHT AWAY???
THE TEAM SUCCEED IN THEIR TOKEN COLLECTING TASK????
ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT IS TO TUNE IN NEXT TIME…
BE BACK HERE TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE OF… THE SAGA OF THE STAFF!!!
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